Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Boring holidays.

This holidays are really making me bored stiff! Argh.. The most terrible thing is that this is only the second day of the holidays! *cries* All I know what to do is either to stare at the com and tv for the whole day, after that it would time for my sleep. Meaningless. Totally meaningless! Can somebody date me out? Lolz. I think I will drive myself crazy, facing four walls 24/7. Need to shop also. Gonna need to purchase office blouses and pants during this GSS sale. Hehe. Cheap mah! =P

Still feeling kinda reluctant to start the projects. Nobody seems willing to give a kick start to it. If that's the case, I shall get the ball rolling first. Cuz this is really getting no where! Tomorrow, I will start tomorrow. Promise! haha. Start on my research. *yawns* I'm just plain lazy.. Need to start revision as well. Always complaining of having not enough time while sch is going on to revise, and now, with so much time on hand, I just dun feel like doing a single thing. Sometimes, I really wonder what im really thinking.

Read meriss's blog today. Yup, I entirely agree to what she mentioned. A blog is a place where you reveal your feelings. What one puts in their blog also depends on the audience. Its very much of a case whereby you don't wanna mention something in your blog which hurts others. Ya.. But you will still have to face reality when it comes to some problems. *what am I talking about?* Anyway, the main point I wanna say is that although you are aware that people are reading your blog, somehow or rather, I just feel *it's just a feeling* that there are others, whom I know, but even me myself ain't aware that they are reading my blog. If you are reading my blog, without me knowing, please let me know about it. Its just as simple as leaving a tag at my board. Nice and simple. That's it.

Speaking of trust, I feel that I can never ever bring myself to trust anyone 100%. I have absouletely no idea as to why I'm this way, but I just feel that nobody is worth a 100% of my trust yet, I guess. Well, yes, to me, it takes alot for me to build trust on somebody. Be it a best friend, a family member, cousin.. whoever. However, I will make this straight and clear, once I begin to lose trust in somebody, you jolly well forget on gaining my trust back on you, cuz it will never ever happen. For me, once I start losing that little teeny weeny bit of trust on somebody, it completely disappears. Simple as that. Trust, being a simple word, means alot to me. There are some people I still can't bring myself to believe them at all, even after knowing them for so many years. Not even 10%. Scary uh? Hmm.. Not at all. Meriss, don't you think we have another common trait again? Hahah. But I'm no animal communicator. XD

You might wonder, why im speaking, or blogging in such a different tune? Or is it simply, I have changed? Well.. Seriously speaking, I haven't change abit. However, if you really feel that I'm not the cheryl which you once know, can you please let me know about it? Be it for good or bad, I promise, I wouldn't scold. People do change as time goes by.. Anyway, back to my point. Its just that I want to make my points clear and let you truly know what sort of girl I am. Perharps, I'm being more candid and frank than before. I have never expressed my thoughts here before, in a place where everyone, or simply, anyone can have a chance to have a look at. If you know me, I don't simply go up to anyone to express my thoughts about. Or I think I should put it in such this way.. I don't open up to anybody. I always bottle up my feelings cuz I don't feel the necessity for allowing everyone to be aware of my problems. [Sorry, I mean no offence.]

Yup.. Haiz. Again, im asking myself.. what have I been typing for the past hour? This entry is abit too lengthy. Stop here then. Cya all!