Thursday, March 09, 2006
9/3/2006

been busy doing nothing during the holidays, except for eating, surfing the net and watching shows. argh. sian.

just wanted to blog some thoughts that i have been pondering upon for the past few days.

hmm.. i have always loved this particular song, everything in its time by corrinne may ever since she released her second album. i can't remember whether i blogged about this before, but i guess there's no harm in reading it the second time if i really did posted it previously. haha. its pretty meaningful, esp certain parts of the song. take a look at it.

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it allI just fall on my knees
and I try to pray
In the silence
I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

i like some parts of the lyrics, e.g., funny how time changes how we see. don't you think its really very true? haha. you might not have noticed it, but time really do change we see things. i don't know if it is true for each and everyone, but its especially true for me. i shall use a very simple example, the purpose of pursuing education. frankly speaking, i seriously did not have any clue why i had to undergo primary school education. its pretty much of parents say "you must go to school, get the certificate, then only you can get a good job in the future, and not ending up as a roadsweeper... blah blah". ok, you get your psle results, then go on next to secondary school. in secondary school, i had the mentality that "only with a cert with good results, then i can get a well-paid job, earn enough money for myself". after that, it would be getting o level results, then decide whether you wanna enter a poly, jc, ite or out to work. now, the problem is where your interest lies in, and what you really wanna do/be in the future. it never occured to me that there has been such a change in my thinking over the past few years. oh well. (:

i had such a funny dream last night. hahaha. i told the dream i had to yx over the phone just now, and she said i'm still crazy about them. hasn't it been always the case? lol. i ain't gonna reveal my dream. the thought of it just makes me laugh.

i have been contemplating for quite a few months, if i should take on piano again. but the thought of having to practise majors makes me puke. its been like.. almost 10 years since i last touched the piano? i don't know. i really really don't know. my mind is in a whirl. basically, i just suddenly had the feeling that i wanna take on piano. i don't know if my interest in piano did really revived in me. i'm just afraid that after learning for a few months, i would give up again. besides, i wanna learn guitar, saxophone, guzheng and harp too. haha. i have no idea why i'm thinking in such a manner. lets see how things goes when i get to yx house to play the piano again. ha. =P

i always felt that i can't express myself in front of others. not really as in words, or presentation. its lke i can't show my true self. it feels as if i'm hiding myself from reality. i feel trapped. i'm showing others another "me". i don't know if you guys get me. oh.. just take it that i'm talking rubbish again.

maybe its not too good to keep me at home for too long. i think too much. way too much.

I can be free
I can be free from this place
Beautiful healer
Beautiful grace
Help me to see
Everything fall into place
Wake me from dreaming
No more deceiving
Break these chains